SophieJ Life Experiences

You don’t have to say what you did….. I found about him.

The impact of this sentence on my entire being is profound. I have been working as a therapist since last year, including the 700 hours of free labor I put in as an intern. It’s been a roller coaster ride, to say the least. Since finishing school, I have gone through a lot. I secured a job at the internship while continuing with my previous job. Despite the emotional labor of working as a Humanitarian, I wasn’t ready to let it go. While I am often tired, nothing compares to the exhaustion of last year. I am not joking when I say that if grad school is an idea of what the hell looks like, I must strengthen my relationship with the Lord! Speaking of my spirituality, I joined a new church and officially became a member. Yay! New me? Absolutely not, but it is a long time coming!

Maturing realizes that, unlike a tree, you are not obligated to stay anywhere you don’t want to. I want to feel happy and delighted when I go to church, and if I can’t achieve that despite my best efforts, I need to engage in some introspective activities and make necessary changes. This is not meant to criticize anyone who chooses to maintain the status quo, but I come from a lineage of Dessalines, Toussaint, and Christophe, and I cannot conform to that. I also follow a God who challenged the norms and confronted religious leaders of his time, so why should I not do the same? At this stage in my life, my priorities are finding joy, happiness, balance, and peace while incorporating a good measure of kindness, advocacy, and a desire for self-improvement. That’s my recipe for a perfect iced vanilla latte. Or is it plantains with fried pork, my favorite Haitian dish?

I wake up every day, and I continue to choose myself. In a world where I am constantly disappointed, put down, degraded, devalued – not only as a black individual but also as a woman, and a dark-skinned one at that – let’s not forget an immigrant from the poorest country in the continent, with a tick accent and curves for days… I am also the blueprint. The reason for lip fillers, botox, enhanced surgical procedures, and the need to use seasonings, colors, music, and swag for days. They must put me down because the very thought of my presence is a testimony that their ancestors were pure evil! I am not sorry, nor do I have the desire to create a safe space for those who would take everything from me in a heartbeat. It is not my job to make anyone comfortable at the expense of my well-being. There is always room for everyone, and I will not apologize for my people being larger than life and intimidating simply because they exist.

We celebrate this month, commemorating Juneteenth and bringing back memories, celebrating Black Joy. I am incredibly thankful to our African American brothers and sisters for their ongoing fight against oppression. The Civil Rights movement holds great significance for all people of color, especially black people in the United States of America. I am grateful, appreciative, and every other word that expresses gratitude. This blog is for me and anyone else who needs to pause and acknowledge how far they have come! It’s important to celebrate all victories. Reflect on the past and move forward with grace and kindness… If part of your self-discovery journey involves venting frustration at some people, feel free to do so. This is a judgment-free zone, as always.

As we approach the year’s midpoint, it’s a good time to reflect and be intentional about how we want the rest of the year to unfold. Take a moment to consider what aspects of your life are within your control and how you can bring about positive change. Identify areas for improvement, acknowledge your accomplishments, and embrace the things that have surprised and amazed you. Let’s commit to focusing on our goals and pursuing our paths with determination. Wishing you all peace and success on your journeys!

PS: All I desire are 4 vacations a year, shoes for every occasion, and matching bags. Is this too much to ask for, Universe?