SophieJ Life Experiences

On New Year’s Day, which also happens to be my birthday, I celebrated my special day surrounded by family. I indulged joyfully, without a single regret, fully aware that the gym would be waiting for me next week. I could practically hear my trainer’s voice in the background, but honestly? It was worth every bite.

As I reflect on the year behind me, I feel content, happy, and deeply at peace. Yet, there’s a faint hint of boredom, not dissatisfaction, but the kind that comes from things being quiet around here.

This is the honest, often unspoken truth about doing the work and shedding toxicity: life can become very calm. So calm, in fact, that the temptation of chaos can start whispering. I have to remind myself that I once prayed for this kind of stillness and that I don’t need to create drama just because peace feels unfamiliar. Yes, sometimes we do look for drama. Nervous systems that have lived in survival mode can mistake calm for emptiness or even danger. Healing isn’t always exhilarating; often, it’s spacious, slow, and something we’re still learning how to inhabit.

Over the past year, I’ve taken an honest look at my shortcomings, and I can say I’m pretty balanced. I’m still growing and evolving, but I feel grounded. This year, though, my intention is different. I’m stepping away from the tired “new year, new me” narrative. I’m not reinventing myself; I’m integrating myself. How many times does one really need to start over?

So, I bring every version of myself along on this journey: the brave one, the messy one, and the versions who survived with whatever tools they had at the time. I hold space for my unhealed self, tending to her gently and offering comfort and grace. She didn’t know then what I know now, and she deserves compassion, not shame. I refuse to silence or abandon myself out of embarrassment or regret. If others reject parts of me as unworthy and I do the same, what message am I sending to myself first? And what am I teaching those who cross my path?

For years now, my goal has not been perfection but love, acceptance, and wholeness. I am the product of my ancestors, strong men and women on whose shoulders I proudly stand. Their resilience lives in my bones.

So, here’s to the new year.
Here’s to the woman I am becoming.
Here’s to this little Caribbean girl taking up space exactly where she belongs. 🥂🌺