SophieJ Life Experiences

I’m at a point where I’m easily irritated by foolishness, loud and unnecessary commentary, and the relentless expectations people project onto others.

You want to be married with eight children by age 40? That’s okay, but have you actually thought it through? Have you mapped out how you will be there for each child emotionally, financially, and developmentally? Or is the unspoken plan that the older children will “help out,” quietly sacrificing their childhoods to fulfill your dream of a big family? Let’s be honest, there’s a reason so many eldest siblings grow up feeling depleted and distancing themselves from their families of origin. They were parentified and groomed into responsibility before they were ready. If you’re wondering why this happens, ask Alfred Adler. Birth order dynamics are not random; children adapt to survive the environment they are born into, and sometimes that adaptation breeds resentment. One of my favorite movies, “This Christmas”, beautifully captures sibling dynamics. Roles are shaped by context, and context matters.

I recently saw a video asking, “Should poor people have children?” The comment section was wild. When someone inevitably says, “The Lord will provide,” I can’t help but tilt my head. Yes, faith can sustain you, but so can wisdom and planning. God also gave you intelligence. Notice I said “religion,” not “spirituality.” Organized religion, in particular, has often been weaponized to justify poor planning and silence critical thinking. I say that as someone who works directly with the emotional aftermath. I see the wounds up close. I see the children who became second parents. I see the adults unraveling from roles they never chose.

Why do I care? Because I work with people. Because I have self-awareness. Because critical thinking is not optional. And maybe also because everything feels heavier these days.

Groceries cost more. Gas costs more. Five dollars for a bulb of garlic? I look at my expense sheet, and my body breaks out in hives. I haven’t changed my lifestyle. I haven’t splurged. I’ve been disciplined, and still, every grocery trip feels like a threat to my nervous system. I work full-time, yet I find myself back on LinkedIn and Indeed, looking for additional income. That’s the part that frustrates me the most. The mental bandwidth required just to survive leaves little room for creativity, joy, or the things that truly matter. It’s hard to focus when you’re calculating how to avoid panic at the checkout counter.

This blog used to feel lighter. Remember when I was playfully dragging bad dating behavior, reviewing podcasts, or obsessing over “Bridgerton”? (I still haven’t watched the first half of Season 4, and the second half is coming soon. I’m not in the program, friends.) I’d love to bring back that energy.

Can we also bring back a government that feels invested in its people? Because whatever this current situation is… deep breaths.

So I’m asking: How are you all surviving? Are you picking up part-time jobs? Switching careers? How’s the job market treating you?

Here’s how I’m protecting my health because self-care and joy are forms of resistance:

• A minimum of 7 hours of sleep.
• No doom scrolling (when I can help it), because that’s not helpful.
• Vitamin C, D, and magnesium; we’re in a committed relationship.
• Gym sessions and a walking pad at night.
• Hot tea and increased water intake.
• Steering clear of unnecessary drama.

Not avoidance, just discernment. I choose peace over being right. I cannot have the IRS and random people stressing me simultaneously. Let’s be serious.

We’re allowed to question systems. We’re allowed to plan responsibly. We’re allowed to feel frustrated. And we’re absolutely allowed to protect our nervous systems while doing it.

Anyway, that’s where my head is these days. Now tell me; how are you holding up?