It’s 45 degrees when I leave for work and 75 on my way home. Still, we’re acting as if global warming is a joke. My family also expects me to pop some kids real soon. Have you seen the world? No matter where you stand, it’s alarming. So no excuse, aunty, but all you’re getting from me, is another professional degree at best.
November is upon us, so you know what’s next, family gatherings! Yay? I’m still undecided about how to feel. Should I be happy that I live hours from the side that matter the most? If you know, you know , lol 😆. However, on a serious note, maturing is being aware that both sides have issues that you don’t want to be a part of. There, I said it! No matter how much you love mom’s side and vibe with them, they, too, have a lot of unpleasant family dynamics you were maybe not aware of growing up. After all, they’re humans with complex sides, trying their best to cohabit. So, it shouldn’t be a shock, because, have you met people? Most of the time, I want them to leave me alone! I am a humanitarian working towards getting a master’s in clinical mental health. Nonetheless, I don’t want to bother with people unnecessarily.
While you still love your relatives, the secret to getting along with everyone is to live relatively far, find your clan, and not get involved in any drama. Not sharing too much of your personal life also save you a lot of headaches! You’re not hiding who you are, but you’re curating what you choose to present. How you decide to do it is your business. No matter what you do, some people won’t be happy anyway. But would you be? Keep in mind that we’re socials. We need connections to feel great, but at what cost is essential? I don’t mind burning any bridges anymore if they allow disrespect. The world is a scary place, so the best I can do is to maintain my sanity. How to do so? Boundaries! Boundaries! Boundaries! Check yourself also! Are you the problem or part of it? So, should we all advocate for family therapy with our generation? I’m concluding that I am now part of the auntie club! Still hot and young, but auntie nonetheless.
Speaking of family therapy, there are so many theories trying to explain their dynamics and functionality, yet there is a need for more! Let’s get real. Most of them used white European descendants as their variables, so no wonder why minorities don’t fit in many of them. Being in a class as a grad student, discussing mental health, and thinking about individuals in an intersectional loop are more unexpected than what you’ve been presented with. Because I am black, Afro-Caribbean, a woman, an immigrant, and part of so many marginalized groups, my number one instinct are to learn and understand my oppressor. But most people from the majority share how unprepared they feel about working with minorities. So finding someone who is culturally equipped to understand the dynamics in case you decide to try with your cousins/ brothers and sisters is crucial.
There is less stigma around mental health, and it’s great that more people are taking care of themselves. Quite frankly, most people in therapy are dealing with generational trauma. So, why not go and save heartaches for the younger ones?
PS: I’m not ready for jingles, bells, and Christmas shopping! Probably because I’m doing all the shopping and paying 😒😒😒