Letting go to catching up

I got into the habit of writing at least one text a week because my schedule does not allow me to do more. And I thought about skipping today because of how emotional I am these days. When I tell you, 2021 has tried your girl! I don’t remember being this alert, stressed, confused, and tricked my whole life! Adulting is the most ghetto place on earth.

In the midst of all of this, this blog is not about me complaining today! On the contrary, I want to be grateful because I feel like someone might use it and pull themselves together. So, let’s get into it… When my car flooded a few weeks ago because of the hurricane, I was so shocked that I forgot to cry! I am a full-time student, running three part-time jobs because full-time those days are 45 hours and more! The shortage of workers is affecting the US to the core! So I did not know what would happen and how I would manage to run from one place to another! The stress level was to the roof!

However, as a Christ-follower, one thing I’ve developed over the past years is to let go when situations become too intense for me! I used to have detailed plans with all of the steps aligned, and if anything went unplanned, it would wreck my world; adjusting was so hard! But spending thousands of dollars fixing my stomach issues, multiple specialists concluded that stress was the cause of them. Every time my anxiety level rises, my body reacts violently to it! I can’t keep a single drop of water, tea, food on my stomach! After two years of going through this, I knew something had to change! Letting go of things beyond my control or aligning plans with 20 steps could not be the objective. So now, I have goals, with sketches of plans.

I did not plan how I would get a new car, but I prayed and said God knows my situation, and I want to trust him and adjust as I’m going through the process. Was it easy? Not! Tell a control freak to let go and improvise along the way is the wrong advice! However, it works! I did not have a single week of throwing up for the whole time!!!!! Do you know what I’ve also done? I asked for help and used the resources around me! Every time a new development occurred, I paused and thought before allowing my overactive mind and overachiever methods to take me to dark places! Probably the most challenging thing I’ve done!

I’m grateful for all the help I’ve received in this process, but I’m most proud of myself for allowing me to make changes in my habit that were disruptive. We live in a society where doing everything yourself is highly praised, but what is the expense of living this way? I’m not telling anyone to rely on help to survive, no! But instead of struggling, pause for a moment and think about the resources around you. Ask questions, ask for directions, and make your sketch of your plan from them. Don’t be afraid of adjusting when needed! And mostly trust your gut! Listen to your body and senses!

PS: am I the only one who struggles with journaling? I recognize its efficacy, but I still can’t do it as I want.

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