Is it a Spade? So be it.

In season 1, episode 3 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Joel asks Myriam to take him back after quitting her for his secretary a few weeks earlier. She said no, and when he asked her why she replied, because you left. And while she and her kids have to move back with her parents, her husband gets a new place with his mistress or what not! And of course, he doesn’t understand why Myriam could remotely be angry because, as a gentleman, he offered to go back to being a father and a husband like he did not embarrass her and toss his commitment away. You probably wonder why, well, he was not happy with himself.

Growing up, they made us think that marriage was about love and good looks, but clearly, most of us have missed the real deal. Marriage is a contract signed by two parties joining their forces. It’s a simple financial transaction that shouldn’t become a life goal. Call it a life event if you wish, but it is not in any way, shape, or form an accomplishment. It is not to diminish the institution of marriage but let’s call it a spade because it is one. Maybe if we were raised to see it this way, divorces rates would be lower. Because all the possible consequences of this contract would be discussed before the fact, both parties would clearly understand what they are getting themselves into. Call me a Capricorn 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Loving someone shouldn’t block us from asking critical questions. We should not be afraid of asking about core values instead of figuring them out. We are so excited about the idea of being with someone, to “raise” our values, that we’re willing to accept everything and anything. It is more challenging to stand up for yourself and understand that you deserve better than being someone sloppy seconds in any aspect of the game. As I’m learning and figuring out what matters to me, it becomes less stressful to establish my boundaries and cherish my values. It requires work and commitment to myself, but if I don’t know my worth and what my needs are, how can I expect someone else to do so?

March 8 is around the corner, and already I’m exhausted. Even though I no longer explain why flowers and presents are not what women are fighting for, I also don’t entertain people who choose not to learn and do better. Call it choosing your battles. Femicide occurrence has never been higher, so are male podcasts degrading women and diminishing their work. Let’s focus on that, shall we?

PS: the weather is getting better!!!!!! Seasonal depression, please pack your bags.

4 thoughts on “Is it a Spade? So be it.

  1. Sosyete a tèlman fè presyon sou do fi( sitou) pou yo marye, yo menm rele sa ” fè vi”. Se tankou lè w marye ase w ap viv😫 antouka koze yo anpil.

    Liked by 1 person

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