What is your definition of family? I’ve shared mine with you if you recall, and bloodline was not a prominent factor in my understanding of what it is! This means you can open or close doors to those you don’t want in your life. You might think it is difficult because you’ve known them all your life, but quite frankly, once you experience peace, you won’t miss any toxicity!
Going to random’s funerals to represent my parents has been part of my routine, and I found it hilarious. I would never hear or meet someone, and all of a sudden will be asked to pay my respects to their families. Even though I get compensated for doing so, it never ceases to amuse me! Some of them are pretty close relatives! And once I get to the place which cannot be more than 20 minutes away from me, I’ll see familiar faces and more people I’ve never heard of presenting themselves as relatives.
In our case, because of internal and external migration, we lost touch with most close relatives; therefore, there is no connection. It is almost impossible to feel genuine pain in those situations! Same for joy! Being invited to a cousin’s wedding that you have never met always sounds funny to me! Why would you want people you don’t know or connect with around you for this momentous day? It’s adding stress, pressure, and more significant expenses! It doesn’t sound appealing one bit.
Isn’t it the same thing to go around those you know and feel somehow uncomfortable? Maturing sometimes it’s excruciating! You see things for what they are, and they are not always pretty! Sometimes it’s acknowledging while some family members have lovely sides and are enjoyable, they also can be nasty, even toxic with others, or when they don’t agree with something. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. Now, my question would be: what is higher? The good or bad? Are you experiencing more joy than drama? Can you be yourself, or do you have to wear a mask because of the constant judgment others are receiving? It doesn’t have to affect you directly, but observe and take notes!
Those are complex topics and can be triggering, so please take care of yourself while you work on them. You can also press pause if that is what you need now! This is a free judgment zone!
PS: Ariel is coming!!!!!! I don’t care about what they say but seeing the reactions of little brown and black girls is all that matters to me.
SophieJ Life Experiences 