Scrolling through social media as one does, and saw some interesting videos about friends going on trips together and coming back, enemies. Going back on Twitter and seeing a trend about it helped me understand why that could happen. I am happy to share with y’all since summer is coming, and you might be planning to go away with friends or acquaintances.
First, how much do you know about your travel buddies? Have you been in the same space with them for extended periods? How long do they take to get ready? And what is their idea of budget planning? Those are important things to know when going away with someone. Do they like morning or night activities? Do they understand coming and leaving together? Are they planners? Going with vibes or controlling type A?
Spending two hours of brunch with someone versus five to six days is different, and not getting annoyed at every little thing can quickly escalate to something bigger. One central point for those fallouts was moneyyyyyyyyyyy! And I totally get it! If some people from the groups have $2000 budgets for food and activities, it might mix poorly with those whose budgets are under $500. And are we being transparent with things we can afford, or are we being parasites and entitled just because we are friends with someone? We, as people, often avoid hard conversations, and unnecessary quiproquo because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or be scared of conflict. Well, guess what? They would happen if things were swept under the rug constantly, and it might not be pretty.
Some friends might not be suited to go away with you, and that is okay. Adulting is about compartmentalized friendships without feeling left behind or neglected. I am not talking about those people who abused you for their gains, and you don’t get anything back. Like you’re good enough for the baby shower but not the birthday parties, or the wedding shower and not the weddings. I want to talk about the dynamics between child-free friends and parents, but that would be for another day. What do you do when going away with friends? Who are you bringing with you? Are you like me and run from money conversations, so get taken advantage of? How do you balance all of this?
PS: What goes around does come around! Treat everyone the same, and let me know how it works for you.
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