SophieJ Life Experiences

To what extent should we support our friends? If there are limits, what are the healthy ones? Should our friends expect us to have their backs in any situation automatically, or is there room for discussion? Should these convos be private, or do we address them immediately, no matter how or when? Maybe we should start with who we consider friends. Do you define your friendships by length, or do you categorize them? Do they need to be people you have known for a certain amount of time, or can they be people you just met, but the vibes are immaculate? Do they have to be physical and virtual first, or can they be people you have never met?

It’s a lot, and I agree there are no right or wrong answers to this. I don’t consider myself friendly or open, but I’ll lend a hand if needed and if I can. I also have a concise list of people I think would do the same. I feel like, and maybe I’m mistaken, but once you reach a certain point, your entourage shouldn’t be crowded. Like Ramona #RHONY and her 60 girlfriends who all collect money every year to gift her a designer bag at her birthday luncheon! Seriously! While it’s silly and cannot be for everyone, I believe in friendship amelioration. If something seems not to work for one of us, we should be able to talk about it! Without fear and with respect!

I don’t believe in absolutes unless we are speaking about human rights, abuse, and child protection because those are non-negotiable. So, if you’re my friend and you’ve done me wrong, talking about it shouldn’t create an enormous rift between us. We women are way harder on our girlfriends than on our partners! Sis, you took this man back 36 times, but you can’t forgive your good friend this one time? I’m choosing violence, and that’s okay! We can always work things out if we both are not playing telephone and want to. Life is hard as it is. I don’t have time for a strained relationship or forcing things. I’m more into letting things go these days—not slide, go! I call it maturing and growing. We are either in it or not.

Now, I’m not telling you how to treat your friends, but would you go somewhere only to be tolerated? What do you do with those friends who can’t be wrong? They have a better excuse for everything, and their side is the only one that matters? That feels like a ton of work! I don’t think childhood friendships are worth holding on to if they become toxic! I’m willing to make new friends but also cautious about it.

PS: I’m at this stage where loud teenagers cause me to roll my eyes 🙄!!!!!! God!